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Bruce Trinz's Autobiography (submitted 5/18/06)
I was born, which pissed off my brother. From there things went downhill. I got sick, went into a coma and woke up very cross-eyed ten days later. This, too, pissed off my brother, who was accustomed to receiving undivided attention.
I did stupid things, such as holding my breath until I turned blue whenever I hurt myself or was reprimanded. I always resumed breathing, which pleased my mother, but I can't vouch for my brother.
When I started Kindergarten, my mother instructed my brother to take me to school and back with him and to hold my hand when we crossed the street. This also pissed him off and he refused to speak to me, but he did communicate--by hitting me. I learned to hit back with anything handy, such as an Erector set or a volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica, which sure didn't please him.
In high school, he was an outstanding student, a member of the ROTC, a stalwart of the wrestling team and a general all-around sycophant. By the time I got there, he had graduated, but one teacher remembered him with great affection. Meanwhile, I had decided to stop being a nerd and to avoid following in his hallowed footsteps, which didn't please my teachers.
After graduating from college, I volunteered for a year in the Air Corps. When I returned to the the States five years later, at the end of World War II, my father and my uncle picked a volunteer to run the family theatre--me!(my brother had refused the position.)
This turned out to be a case of serendipity. I had found my metier. I turned the theatre into a very successful enterprise, a widely-known mecca for film buffs and film students. Sometimes I wonder if that, too, pissed off my brother. He's gone; I'll never know.